Hello all!

Yes. As my mom would say, I look like death warmed over EXCEPT

I’ve got my lip gloss and my Rocky Mountain Pearls. Oh, joy. Today is the day of my photo shoot. The good news? This takes off the pressure. I’ll just have fun.

My friend Anna Troxel picked up my theme in her Facebook comments about yesterday’s blog Miscommunication:

Yes. I’ve been through some shit with one important detail that can never be overlooked:

I have the CAPACITY TO LEARN. This has long been one of my driving forces along with one other really potent one:

I refuse to believe what I’m doing is the best that I can do.

That’s what drove me from attending support groups in my recovery days from my chemically induced psychotic break to co-facilitating them to training law enforcement to starting my own businesses to making movies to getting a Master of Fine Arts in screenwriting and the list goes on.

Yes. I’ve had to deal with some horrible shit in my day. Sure. It’s absolutely intoxicating to think of myself as the victim for it allows me to escape responsibility for my own bullshit actions that contributed to my own chaos. Why yes… I’m right there too with one caveat:

I’ve always hated that distinction of possibly having the worst trauma story in the room or wearing my problems like they are my only identity. Cuz see? No one has to marginalize me since I’m already doing it to myself. And dudes? I several Gold medals in doing this to myself. Rather silly since I’m being honest.

Here’s the other aspect:

Once you start to talk with other people about trauma? Everyone has had it in some way. No. It may not have the sweeping effects that others faced. EXCEPT it doesn’t make their trauma any less valid.

See… I believe everyone’s pain is just as real to them that mine is to me. And I also know that pain is part of the human condition. No one was singled out alone to get all the pain in the world. Pain is an equal opportunity employer for it doesn’t discriminate and no one is immune.

This is also where I go back to what I’ve also been saying: I’m grateful for every “owie” big or small. Yes. I’m truly grateful for all that experienced. Were some times hard? You bet your sweet ass. I also know that living out loud like I’m moving more towards? This will have its own form of blow back.

So what?

Cuz not only do I have the where with all to fight… I have an even more important skill:

The ability to rebuild regardless of how long it takes me. And I’ve also been able to let go of what other people think for the most part during this process. Sure. I have my moments of self-doubt. Here’s the thing though They keep me honest.

Have a glamorous day on purpose!!

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