Good morning!

Stella Young invented that incredible accurate phrase to talk about the bulk of movies featuring some sort of “great act” performed of disability or someone viewed “deficient” by the arbitrary standard of “normal.” EXCEPT the “great act” is shit like going to the grocery store. Oh, gee! How brave,.

That’s complete bullshit. Yes, Mom: I swore.

This comes down to the concept encoded by George Bush’s speechwriter: It’s the embodiment of: The soft bigotry of low expectations.

See… We give the middle finger to that in our movie MY APOCALYPTIC THANKSGIVING about a guy with autism and a zombie obsession. How? When he gives up a gun that a gangster gave him? The person hands it back to him. We were told by multiple people to cut where he ends up with the gun. It was at that point? We knew they didn’t understand our story: It’s about the right for people to make their own mistakes. As this goes all our programmed tropes, it gives people cognitive dissonance: they assume they know best for autism. In a word? No.

Stripping people of their agency dehumanizes them. Why do people attempt to do that? Stroking their own egos in the name of virtue signaling. I gotta ask: where are those people when the consequences of their choices plays out? They’re likely off on their next virtue signal adventure instead of cleaning up their own mess. If they stay in the dynamic, they often treat that person like a monster and incapable of making their own choices. This is especially true if money is on the line. It’s in their benefit for that other person to believe they don’t have a spine or choices. A very toxic situation all around.

So… Why share this? My stories are about people with disabilities – visible and invisible – with a very important distinction: they don’t trot out their diagnosis for audiences to feel good about themselves. They live their lives no matter how dysfunctional they appear to others. An example is my silly short for the EasterSeals Disabilities Challenge where my characters use Molotov Cocktails to fight global warming in Captain Tolerance and the Plant Whisperer Fight Global Warming. Heck – we even had talking plants. The best part? YouTube put a warning label on it about climate change. Yes. Wild logic for sure. But if you step and look? Most things have screwed up logic cuz humans built them:

Sniff tests should be applied to all things. And if you think that you’re above a sniff test? You’re the reason they were invented. And yes – I’ve had many moments in my life where I would not have been able to pass a sniff test if my life depended on it. This is where I feel grateful: I eventually realized that if I keep my head shoved up my ass that shit will be my only view.

Cuz yes… Part of embracing agency is owning your own mistakes. I make them every day. And you know what? They’ve been my best teachers.

I’m also going to let you in on my next not so secret secret: I’ve decided that next tattoo will be the Tower from Tarot cards. I think this makes something 18. And it’s a nice contrast to my imperfect cross, eagle carrying a hot cup of coffee, and the massive sun on my back with a smiley face and the words “Free Will” above it.

And by the way, YES. I came up with the name for my new film company in focus groups that I created when I was in the psych ward in 2024 after exiting my toxic marriage. Yup – I went through my darkness to find my joy. It feels glorious!!

By the way: I just called out people for behaving like monsters towards their cash cow. Maybe I’ll just be written off like a crazy person or just possibly? The cash cow will realize he has agency. Everyone gets to choose their own fate cuz they’re the ones needing to look themselves in the mirror if they choose. Why I think they behaved like monsters? They got that person to fear themselves. I know this dynamic when I was shackled in Texas when I found out about my bipolar. Yes. I used my teeth to get out. Those shackles lasted a ton longer than moment. Thank God for my handy teeth.

Update: I forgot to include how I know about this beyond my teeth. I have lived experience with bipolar and complex PTSD. As for work, I have 20+ caring for people with special needs, invisible disabilities, visible disabilities, people with different primary languages than English, teaching, mentoring, and volunteering. I’ve also trained law enforcement on how to help people with developmental disabilities, mental illness, addictions during a crisis. I’m a certified peer support specialist, mental health first aider, level three certified breathworker with a specialization in trauma informed care, and about to start Vita coaching focusing embodiment and Tantra through a lense of safety. And I was a film curator for the 2024 ReelAbilities Los Angeles Film Festival.

Have a glamorous day on purpose! I must walk.

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