Hellllllllloooo!

Yup! You heard me: I LOVE LOVE LOVE that I bombed. And not only did I bomb at last Tuesday’s open stand-up mic and placing four out of four in the Toastmaster’s Tall Tales? My performance at Story Hour in January? Also questionable.

Why be happy?

My First draft of my first screenplay made the first cut into the Sundance Feature Film Program. Talk about both encouragement and PRESSURE!?! Yup. Cuz if you think from an accomplishment point of view? Anything less is a “failure.”

When really? That’s a load of shit.

Cuz this mindset of: WE MUST DO THINGS PERFECTLY OUR FIRST TIME OUT OR WE’RE A FAILURE? Like how is that even logically? How can you be any good if you’ve never done something before? Or It’s a loooooooooooong time in different rooms?

Yes. I did a little standup years ago in Los Angeles. Even took some classes in it. And a room full of aspiring comics in Los Angeles tend to talk about different things than this room in Montana. Not a big deal. I’ll adjust my material from BABY CARROTS. Yes. You heard me: I tried with my baby carrots material. That’s not a line of thought for a room mostly focusing on dick jokes. So? I’ll shift into my embodiment and pussy jokes that I was going to get to eventually anyway.

As for Toastmasters, they have far more formal speeches. I have a long love/hate relationship with structure. It’s considered the gold standard in academic environments cuz it’s easy to measure. But since I’m a deeply intuitive person? It used to feel like a prison. Now? I began working with it during my Master of Fine Arts in screenwriting program.

Truth? Structure drives me crazy EXCEPT??????

I absolutely see its value. So? Yup. I’m working with structure more. AND? I’m doing public performing reps. This takes the pressure off of one performance to allow me to practice. Yup. Tweak and go. Tweak and go… I’ll be in a radically different place with all this now that I’m setting up myself to perform weekly at least once for the next year. It’s based on me continually trying rateher than me placing the weight of everything on one thing and wondering why I “failed??” That self-induced pressure screws me over most of all, Scarecrow.

Yes. I talked about this idea some in my “long practices” post. This is how it plays out in real life: A silent room AT FIRST.

To say that I’m pleased?????? Absolutely!!

As always: Have a glamorous day for fun!!

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