Helllllllllooo!

Dudes!?! I have some devastating news: My favorite hat??? You know the one that offends my mom’s sensibilities!?! Yes, well… It has disappeared. I could argue that my mom may have had a hand in that

EXCEPT?

She’s not THAT crafty.

I probably put in a place for safekeeping that’s sooooooo safe? I’ll never find it again.

So? I went to the politically correct hiking store in town cuz I figured they’d have a similar hat. Nope. As an aside: The three clerks in the empty store were more interested in talking to each other than help me. Did I mention that the store was empty? And since they’re stuff was waaaaaaaay over priced compared to the service? I left.

And I did what any reasonable person would do: GO TO WALMART.

Since I was on a mission to find another hat to provoke Mom’s sensibilities?

Why yes… I did something even more reasonable:

I went to the MEN’S DEPARTMENT for my hat. Yup. I found this stunner with ear flaps. Surely. A hat from Walmart’s men’s department with ear flaps would send Mom over the moon. Right?

Heck. I had even given her a running commentary while I was on my mission. And I explained a piece that caused some serious eye rolling on her part: I am “OF THE PEOPLE.”

Cuz even though I have three degrees, can speak multiple languages, used chopsticks since childhood, and lived in multiple countries? That doesn’t give me license to pretend that I’m somehow BETTER than others. Fuck no. Not even close. IF anything? Those have helped me to be far more humble cuz I could keep on going on with that list about experiences that taught me to pull my head out of my ass.

I digress.

Drum roll

Mom loves the hat. She thinks it’s fashionable.

So?

It’s my turn to be devastated.

BUT BUT BUT

I found a workaround the other week cowboy dancing at the High Horse: Wearing it inside. And when she found out that I wore it during my Tall Tales Speech for Toastmasters? She was beside herself.

Not all hope is lost!!!!!!

Bahaha

As always: Have a glamorous day for fun!!

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