Helllllllllllllooo!

Dudes…

I must share that this whole part me appearing to be super serious all the time in my blogs? It’s not true all the time. I absolutely love to laugh. I’ve even perfected a laugh where I sound like one crazy motherfucker.

Oh wait!

I am… Bahaha

Here’s a story from when I had returned to Montana in 2007 following my psychotic break in Texas…

I said something iconoclastic to my mom. She anxiously asked if I was crazy.

YES!

Was my response. We both laughed and laughed hard. I felt my real healing began in that moment. Cuz I know that I’m not doing well if I’m not finding ways to laugh every day. That’s how come I come up with ridiculous phrases like “fashionista.”

Heck. I even did some standup. But someone close to me tore me down hard after my performances. They were absolutely unkind about it. Sure. It sounds like I may have a fragile ego since I opted out of actively going after standup. Quite the contrary. I realized that was just part of the process since everyone and their dog’s cousin twice removed wanted to do stand up in Los Angeles if they weren’t part of the film business.

And some people were willing to do whatever it took to get ahead. Me? I mostly wanted to have fun and learn how to publicly speak. I recall taking some classes from the former comedian and public speaker Judy Carter. She talked about the realities of standup cuz she had done it for decades. It confirmed that I wanted to publicly speak except not with people throwing beer bottles at me.

Why learn to publicly speak with humor when my focus is more healing? Dudes!?! I was part of the CIT program here in Billings from 2007 – 2010. They use the Memphis Model to train law enforcement on how to help individuals with developmental disabilities and/or mental illness and/or addictions during a crisis. And a doctor was explaining how part of Schizophrenia can be believing in unseen things. I could tell she had lost of the room with her dry lecture. It was also obvious that she was anxious about it. So? I raised my hand and offered up to the room…

It’s like trying to explain to a Broncos fan why their team sucks.

The entire room burst out laughing EXCEPT the Broncos fans.

My bigger point with this? Part of why a lot of people are turned off from healing? There’s a lot of hand wringing and seriousness. As in… people taking themselves WAAAAAAAAAY too serious. Me included at times. Just look at my earlier blog posts if in doubt. I was metabolizing so much fucking fear that laughing seemed like a foreign language.

Why? Oh why? Do I point out when I do these behaviors? Am I throwing myself under the bus?

Nope.

It’s letting you know that nothing is fatal IF YOU”RE WILLING TO LEARN FROM IT.

Cuz I feel my own self starting to calm down. How do I know? I wrote about the weather for fucks sake. In my world? That’s scraping bottom UNLESS something major is happening like say when last month’s winter storm knocked out power for weeks in some places. That shit should be discussed. Otherwise? Wear layers.

As always: Have a glamorous day for fun!

• Uncategorized