Hey all!

You remember my post about my evolving relationship with cake? Yup. Sugar and I have changed our relationship cuz we’re no longer on a first name basis… Until the holidays. Damn. Sugar not only liberally used my name? It moved in for the week. Holy shit. I felt like a different person –

Spinning more, paranoia, and even feeling more surly.

And it reminded of something that Richard and I learned: we fought more under sugar’s influence than any other stimulants. Neither of us drink for different reasons – his was a heart attack. I’m what’s called in the punk world “Straight Edge.” I’ll go more into that in a tomorrow’s blog cuz I have a fun story to share.

But dude? I used sugar for a long term coping strategy. Cuz I was sooooo fucking numbed out from a lifetime of collecting trauma that sugar helped me feel alive. Yup. I thought that it was the only thing that could break through my fog until I started to do healing work for real.

Dude! This last week with sugar taught that living in that state wasn’t being alive – it was tying down my nervous system with a support that did more to undo my well being than help me flourish. Cuz yes – I’ve been working on my website this whole time. It’s been a complete dumpster fire cuz of motherfucking templates not doing what the University of YouTube tells me that they’ll do. Geez. So? I’ve reloaded my website about ten times now. Good news? My writing keeps getting stronger with each rendition. Heck. I’m now even making Christopher Nolan jokes about length. I figure that’s a good sign. And it seems that sugar has moved from the neighborhood. Such a relief.

How about you? Any news to share?

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