Hello all!

As we’re gearing up for the new year… I want to throw out something for you reconsider: paraphrasing.

This is when you condense people’s words based on your interpretation and TELL folks this is what they MEAN. Right?

Another way to look at the word “condense?” CHERRY PICK. Yup. It’s being selective in word choices to drive that original speaker to agree with your take on their words rather than attempt to understand their words on their terms. Huh? I know… Right. Confusing.

See… We have it built within society that admitting you don’t know something is a considered VERY BAD. Like the world will end kind of bad. This puts incredible pressure on everyone to KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING. In a word: IMPOSSIBLE.

And it’s considered socially acceptable to paraphrase in an attempt to understand.

EXCEPT?

It’s gaslighting the original speaker by saying they should go with the paraphrased version of what they said rather than their original intent. Yup. They’re wrong rather owning up to well? Shit? I don’t understand what that person just said. Let’s breathe and asking clarifying questions instead of covering ignorance by pretending to look smart.

How do I understand this dynamic so well? I’ve been on both sides. And well? I’ve come to looooooooooooooooove admitting that I understand. There’s such a freedom in admitting ignorance. Cuz really? Ignorance isn’t a permanent state if you’re willing to ask questions that make you look stupid rather than actual remain stupid. Harsh. Fuck it.. Cuz it’s true.

Let me know your thoughts!

As always: Have a glamorous day on purpose!!

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