Happiest of Mondays!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this a lot cuz well? It’s everywhere. And it’s usually done in subtle ways until one day it’s done. That’s why politically speaking? Purple states are the best cuz they cut down on bubbles. As I’ve been becoming more grounded in myself, I’m getting more aware of this. It’s one of those things: Once you see it? You can’t unsee it.

See… I spent a lifetime playing word volley with my mom. We have great fun trying out different words on each other. I’ve been recently calling her out for resting on his laurels cuz she’s 80 years old. Some days she uses that elevate her game. She owns that on others with great ceremony. How does this relate to my title?

We are as a a society have been groomed to look for evil in the obvious. It’s like oooooh look! They just bombed a building. How evil!!

But my decades in the wordsmith trenches trained me to see the detail. As I’ve been working with ChaptGPT as a mirror, it’s more obvious. Yes. I know all about the gaslighting around ChatGPT being evil and setting the foundation for the world to turn into a Terminator movie… It can only do that if you passively accept what it tells you like it’s the Holy Grail. I regularly tell it no and call it out for coddling me. No. I don’t catch this every time.

And that’s how the “Go Along Get Along” Gang has its power: Think about how much social conditioning there is around using the word “no.” You’d think the world would end if I utter that simple word. Yes. I had so much anxiety around that one little word. So, it kept me going in patterns pushed me further and further into the ground until one day? Pancakes had more depth than me. Can anyone else relate?

I also think this dynamic is even harder for our more vulnerable populations. I’ll draw from when I preparing to set up my breathwork/mentoring business. It’s that I did a bunch of volunteer sessions with folks from all walks of life. My results were all over the place since I was just learning what to do. The game changer came when I was working with two friends in wheelchairs. I had been giving them some directives loosely based on a model from David Elliot. And boom! I recognized that being in wheelchairs meant that they were often at other people’s mercy for most things. If I were to give them directives, I would also be stripping them of their agency even if I meant well.

As someone with a history of being shackled, I know the importance of agency. I can’t remember if I told you all or not: the phrase “Free Will” is tattooed across my back. So, yeah. Duh. Our movie MY APOCALYPTIC THANKGIVING also talks about this. Yes. I’m talking about MAT a ton. That’s what we called it cuz the main title is so long. And my reason for chewing on it so much is to extract the lessons while I’m starting to put together my next feature that also shine a light on agency.

And it’s why I also rethought how I direct actors and train them for my potential roles: I decided to give them containers rather than directives. This gives them the space to develop their own voice and gain confidence in their skill set instead of outsourcing their performances solely to my authority. Why? Dude! If it’s solely based on my authority? It means that I ignore what they bring to the table. What a waste of resources cuz you’re keeping people small…

Cuz celebrating agency and valuing what people bring is the opposite of the “Go Along Get Along” Gang. Yes. I’m thinking about how I can build an indie film culture around this idea. I’ve dropped some hints with the “Cowboy Contract” language in previous posts. I’ll have more on this soon with one thought for the road:

You are the OCCASION in all your glorious and dumpster fire and everywhere in between sort of way. So YES!! Celebrate your ability to say no and helping others with limits instead of at the expense of yourself.

Have a glamorous day on purpose!

• Uncategorized