Hello!
I know! I know! I know! Another post about to check in on my quest to be a fashionista.
EXCEPT?
This is an important journey for a lot of women and increasingly more for men if you looking at just the binary. Cuz I’m confident it’s also a factor for non-binary folks too: Do I accept my body’s signs of aging or fight them?
Here’s the thing: I started getting gray hair when I was 16 years old. Yup. This was deep in the late 80s. Yes. I’m that old. And no. I don’t give a shit that I’m that old cuz really? I’m just getting started.
But gray hair back then to me? Devastating. There was so much more pressure on women to look certain ways back then. CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM!!!! So? I did what any reasonable girl would do: I started to dye my hair. And I eventually settled on Loreal’s Ash Blonde series cuz that’s what my mom uses. It also works best with my skin tone. Sure. I tried platinum, jet black, Ginger Spice hairdo and even reddish burgundy for that gray must be covered at all costs. Right?
Yup. God forbid? You look old!?! And an old woman at that??? Jesus wept! You look like an old maid. And no man would ever want someone sooooooooo old looking. Good luck on finding a job while looking so old. Right. No employer would hire an older person since ageism is “real.” But do you know that’s really “real?” People slowing down and losing their curiosity. That’s what makes a person old – nor their hair color. Like my breathwork teacher Jim Morningstar? He’s up there doing Zooms in his 70s and setting up breathwork schools in various parts of the world. My dad goes to the gym almost every day in his 80s along with doing things like white water rafting. Mom also goes to the gym is very active here in Billings with the High Plains Book Awards and helping with the Yellowstone Art Museum. She’s also 80.
I also remember seeing Link Wray play at the Crocodile Cafe in Seattle a long ass time ago. If you’re not familiar, he was an AWESOME high energy surf punk guitarist. And yes – he was that way even in his 60s at this concert. His twentysomething bassist couldn’t keep up. It was awesome to behold. Link also had his hair down to his waist. Very cool.
But I clung to that hair dye and fake hair until last year. Yes. I had consistently let my roots grow longer and longer before I finally embraced: fuck it. Dude. Let it all grow out. After all? What was dying my hair to me? Chasing someone else’s idea of what I should look like: A young woman. BUT BUT BUT a lot of my life sucked when I was younger. Why the fuck would I want to do things to continue to signal that? Honestly? I’m so much more significantly happier now than I ever was back then. And my energy level? It’s like Link Wray’s in that concert: HIGH. That’s never going away – shit’s got to get done.
If people want to write me off due to my gray hair? THANK YOU FOR SELF-SELECTING OUT OF MY LIFE.
So? Yes. I’m still working on being a fashionista ON MY OWN TERMS. I’ll be writing more about that in time. But in the meantime? Let’s all enjoy where we’re at since we all fucking earned it!!
And yes – the red lipstick will never go away cuz it’s toooooo much fun!!
As always: Have a glamorous day on purpose!
Holly Soriano 