Happy Thursday!
I know! I know! I’m barely making Thursday but my fancy pants need to get this out there: Breathwork. Huh? Does that sound pretentious or what? Okay. Maybe not for you. But it did to me the first time someone suggested it. Seriously!?! Like, ugh. No. I’d rather shoot myself.
And it was in figuring out that I had that mindset: I immediately did it. Repressed memories came forward like a vengeance. This allowed me to release ‘em. I was like: Sign me up!!! And I began on my journey for every session is different. Some are simply just being present with me. No, I won’t go into the nuances since it’s about the bigger picture: I’ve done more work to heal my trauma using breathwork than fifteen years of therapy. Yes.
Therapy can and has worked wonders for many people. Others would argue that my success with breathwork is my foundation of therapy. The truth is somewhere in the middle except consider this…
As a person with a complex post-traumatic stress order, I despised feeling my feelings. I honestly wanted to rationalize those fuckers away. So, it turned out that therapy was a gold mine for this: it sticks labels on them to compartmentalize them into tidy little packages. Ugh. Breathwork gets you to be present with your emotions. This is especially how I do it: resting directly on the floor in silence. Okay, well, my house is pretty noisy. But you get the idea. And this is but one of a bazillion ways to do it.
Some may go: How effective can breathwork truly be if you’re the size of a barn right now? I said that I’m feeling my feelings except it doesn’t mean that I like or want them. So, this is exactly why I keep at it. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m incredibly stubborn. Yes. I have a myriad of reasons why the weight is there.
But let me give one specific reason for this: A massive amount of my abuse was sexual. What better to cover the emotional fallout from that than a belly to cover my girl parts? It’s cut down on people stalking me in the grocery store, following me home, and all the more graphic shit that has happened.
So, it acts like a cocoon while I work on my feelings that I didn’t feel comfortable addressing in therapy. Why? Therapists are humans full of judgments regardless of their training. I was even so traumatized by one place that I spent years unpacking it at another. It’s that therapists and the medical establishment are held up to be gods. That’s why I used “Reyes” for the psychiatrist in my new indie feature follow-up to MY APOCALYPTIC THANKSGIVING. Its root in the Spanish word for “king” or el rey. My new indie feature is called 3 WISHES.
I could truthfully go on about this forever because my healing has been profound. One of the most dynamic things about it is its imperfection. This is my reason for saying “fuck it” and starting my breathwork on Halloween 2022 instead of waiting until 2023. See… I was waiting for all of the perfect certifications. This is despite the fact that I took it upon myself to facilitate 100 volunteer sessions over my coursework. What’s the phrase? Go big or go home. I also realize that I could easily come up with a bazillion more reasons to put off starting my breathwork business. So, “fuck it!” Yes – worth mentioning twice. I’m open for business on Monday the 31st. My total favorite holiday in the whole wide world even more than National Pickle Day.
I’ll be posting packages and prices on a separate page on this website. There will be a button called “breathwork.” I’ll have it all up on Monday. I’ll also have a sliding scale option since breathwork should be affordable. But I wanted to give you a head’s up along with the fact that I’ve been making changes to allow my outside to start to reflect more on my insides: An overall nice place to hang out on most days. It’s true that I have some real moments where going through the spin cycle sopped in red Kool-Aid would be more pleasant.
In the meantime, I need sleep tomorrow is huge. You can reach me at crazygirlpictures@gmail.com I’ll also update the package/price page here.
Holly Soriano 