I hope you have had a good week so far. Yes. It’s true that I’m posting this with only a few hours left in it. But I believe there is always room to redirect ourselves in even moments if we choose…
Notice that I put the word “choose” in the sentence. And I even put “choose” as the last one to give choose emphasis as well as the final word to leave you in my mini paragraph. It’s that I had a great insight this week that I want to share for I think that it will help. See… I struggle with “imposter syndrome” when it comes to writing because I haven’t been “writing.”
Why did I put writing in quotes? It’s that I actually have written every single day despite the fact that I say that my writing doesn’t “count enough” to be considered writing. Huh? Let me explain: I have a Master of Fine Arts in screenwriting, my projects have been produced, they have won some accolades, I have had many bylines during my freelance writing days, CNN Radio even picked up one of my articles a while back, and I can keep going…
My point is that I put this incredible pressure on myself that I MUST know what the fuck that I’m doing EVERY single time that I write. I’ll be honest that this was in part why it took me so long to get back to writing this blog. And I even have about 20 started posts that I abandoned because I thought they all sucked. What made last week’s post any different? Yeah. I know it left a lot to be desired. However, I have this phrase that comes out when I trap myself in my own version of imposter syndrome (and I pull my head out of my ass to finally realize what I’m doing to myself):
These two magic words are what helped me finish my thesis and so many other things when my mind tries to tell me that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. See… My mind also knows that I won’t improve if I don’t keep trying.
An example that comes to mind is when I saw GOODBYE LENIN when I was living in Mexico. The movie was in German with Spanish subtitles. I know next to no German. And a two-year-old understood more Spanish than I did at that time. But I went anyway. It was a delightful movie with enough visuals for me to understand despite my language handicaps. I would have missed out on this experience if I had kept with the imposter syndrome mindset of No! No! I can’t possibly!
Getting back to the word of “choose” is that I can keep CHOOSING to let my brain keep me trapped in my own version of imposter syndrome, or still charge ahead. I’m back to acknowledging that I will always have some form of imposter syndrome. If anything, it gets worse the more that I know about writing. And you know what? That’s okay.
And I give you permission to “steal” my call to action: “Fuck it” when you too are stuck or just need to leap into action.
Let me know if anything is unclear, or you have any questions. Feel free to share your call to actions too! God knows I can never have enough of them.
So, I wish you the best for the rest of your Saturday and the beginning of next week. May you keep on your course regardless of when your mind wants to tell you otherwise.
4 thoughts on “Imposter Syndrome”
Have not heard that phrase before. I think that is a human condition for a lot of us, especially in the Arts…is it tied up with value
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Holly, you and John Wayne. “Courage is being scared…but saying ‘Fuck it,’ and doing it anyway!” Amen.
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That’s my thought… 😋